Bangalore wrap-up

So I am overjoyed for two reasons:

1. For one week, starting tomorrow, we're being paired with another classmate to live with homestay families in a different part of Bangalore. I'm excited to be a part of the family and see the culture, class and gender dynamics in action. And because I'll get to help prepare meals, I'm going to bring back some spankin' culinary secrets! We were given snippets about our host family. I will be staying with Mrs. and Mr. Pratibha and Sunil Kumar and their two sons. Sunil runs an at-home software company while Pratibha, I'm told, traditionally likes to take her guests out, dress them up, and go shopping.

And...

2. I have one week and three days left in Bangalore!! Granted, it's unhealthy for me to fixate on this. I still want these last days to impress upon me. Plus, we're now meeting with another organization, the Environmental Support Group (ESG), which I am genuinely interested in. Today was our first day with them, and we learnt about their various campaigns and Bangalore's environmental and geographic history.


I'm still pretty weak from Hampi and haven't been doing much better mentally. I've been trying to reflect on the positives and what organizers here have said helps motivate them. I don't know when or if I'll be able to post before my flight back to Bangkok, so anticipate a break. I'll do the same. ;)

Hampi trip

8/7 - 8:25 p.m. Not feeling well. My stomach's been off all day, and coincidentally so has every other in our group. There's no bathroom on this bus, and the fans aren't working. I'm burning up. I removed my shawl but still have to keep it draped across my chest for the buses level to us. They're playing some video in Kannada and Hindu music -- so much for a sleep. Amber, my roommate, is sharing her old iPod with me. We've been jamming to Mr. Mister and Guns 'N Roses while everyone else has been konked out.

10:45 p.m. It's taken us over an hour to escape the outskirts of Bangalore which, save the palm trees and shantytowns, sort of resembles a drive around the Washington peninsula. We just had our rest stop, a bit over two hours into this ride, with six or so hours ahead of us, and no more stops, according to the itinerary.

. . .
At some point I stopped trying to journal. One reason being that my handwriting came to mimic the off-road turbulence of the landscape, but namely because I became very, very sick. I won't go into details but, "No stops"? Yeah, that was some foreshadowing.














My classmates are asking me plainly, "So how was your trip?" This is not an easy question to answer. When evaluating the success of my trip, I have to divide my judgment in terms of the destinations, the itinerary, and my wellness throughout. Hampi itself was gorgeous, a vast historic beauty littered with bygone palaces and huge volcanic rocks that looked poised to topple the village below them. The people were kind, low-key ad sincere, and I would've loved to hang around for another day or two. Unfortunately our guide insisted on us moving at a discomforting pace. He seemed more concerned with having our attention every minute than us enjoying the artwork and scenery he was describing. Still feeling drained from the night before, with no sleep and very little in my stomach, I nevertheless managed to make the best of it.

Later in the evening my mates and I visited Tungabhadra Dam and the nearby park. We were surprised to see so many locals there (though only upon arrival did we learn the Tungabhandra River is considered sacred), but were soon made uneasy at becoming the main attraction. We've gotten used to people wanting to take our picture, shake our hands, and give us flowers -- I still kinda have problems with it, but it's harmless. On the other hand, being videotaped and laughed at, with fingers pointed at us... That crosses the line of decency for me. Made for contemplative, if agitated, conversation though.

The next day, we drove I don't know how many hours to Mantralayam, a town in Andhra Pradesh, the state neighbouring Karnataka. We were told a number of times about the holy temple there, and found out later that we would be spending eight hours in close proximity to the temple, the only point of interest in the whole town. Several times we tried to get into the temple... "No no, it closes at 2. Come back at 4." "The temple is closed now, you won't be able to get in until after 6." There was no obvious entry and no one seemed to know where we could wait or if we were supposed to pay.

Thus, bummed out and fed up, we forgot about the temple and became recluses on the patio floor of our hotel until the evening, when we walked to the river. That was certainly worth moving around for, as we got to see the sunset drop behind the glistening water and dark figures bathing. The bus ride back was much more restful.


Needless to say, this wasn't the departure it was supposed to be. It was dramatic, tiring, and at times rediculous. I am both excited and hesitant to return to the States, to Washington. This has been a scary, deep, healthy and eye-opening trip... and I believe there has been a paradigm shift. Significant chunks of thought and memory will probably be put on hiatus until after PAX, which makes the return all the more nerve-wracking. I'm even more thankful for the Tokyo finale now. I'm hoping it will help me deal with my world.

Train to Belgaum

Incongruently excerpted from my journal...



8/2 - 9:53 p.m. Today was rather uneventful until now. My class and I are riding the night train from Bangalore to Belgaum, about a 10-hour ride. I'm laying down on my starchy whites under a green felt blanket, my feet propped up on my duffel bag (there's no room for it elsewhere). Most people are starting to do the same, but others are wide awake, probably hoping to exacerbate their night time energy for a rest mid-way.


It's very easy to fall asleep here, on the train and in India. Travel is exhausting, because it is so stimulating and manual. A walk to all your shopping areas, a rickshaw through bustling thoroughfares, a train through the desert. Even being so rudimentary, these systems of transportation are efficient and extraordinary. A friend told me there's a sort of cycle-bound carrier service in Mumbai that delivers office workers lunches from their wives using a very basic colour-coding system. They deliver all over the city and apparently have never had a complaint. I wonder if our postal service should take a tip.

I think I'm going to have to use the bathroom again before I sleep. The bathroom is simple, too. There's a hole and two raised steps on which to balance yourself as you squat. Where does the waste go? Well, we're riding over it right now.

I stood between two of the carriages and watched the little wedge of lights whizz by. This is a good analogy for what my brain is doing right now. I'm on a journey between spheres of knowledge, wherein my dispossession of each grows. My window on this journey is narrow, and although I know what I'm seeing has unfathomable depth, all I can do is stare at it hoping for small glimmers along the way.

I tried to take a picture, but it didn't turn out.

8/3 - 8:13 a.m. We're almost to our stop. A bit longer than I thought. The train made several stops during the night, and my bunkmate Kelly said she kept waking and worrying if any were ours. I feel incredibly well-rested, but it could be the intensely sweet chai I had. The daylight brought us a scenery of green grass, fields of grain, and lush low hillsides. A mist lazily hangs above them. I know it's still India because of the red sand. Whether from rainfall or natural richness, the ground is scattered with pools of water that mix with the soil, making its colour even more vibrant. It so resembles a rich chai or madras curry that you bet it would taste as good.



Around 12 p.m., we met with the Dalit feminist federation. I can't remember their name, but they represent 600 women from 29 villages, have been organizing movements for women's rights and empowerment since 1995, and are the very soul of grassroots. It's amazing what change open dialogue can bring. It was so enlightening and refreshing to hear their individual struggles and share our concerns for universal livelihood. The language barrier alone is intimidating, but once you get over that and really engage yourself, you see how willing others are to join you.

Namaste!

I know a lot of this is deep stuff (it is for me, anyway). Here's a link to my Picasa photo album for a more comprehensive depiction of my trip. :)

An inescapable nature

As of tonight, it will have been a week since I arrived in Bangalore. Today I finally snapped. I found myself yelling at people in my head. Why are you honking at me? I'm the only one on the roadside and there's plenty of room to go around...

No, I don't need want to go shopping, I just want to walk.

Oh, so you only serve this page at lunch time. Then can I have this soup? ... Wait, only dosas? Okay, does a plain dosa have anything in it? No?? These are just fried bread! (This wasn't so silent a reaction, and I noticeably put off the other two I was having lunch with. :-/)


For a vegetarian population, South Indians barely get any vegetables in their diet. You either have to buy them raw at the market or go to the Punjabi or North Indian restaurants. Rice, bread, fried bread, fried rice: this covers 95% of all meals in Bangalore, with a little curd or chutney on the side. And chai, of course; it's impossible to find tea or coffee without milk. Fruit is easy to come by, though. There are fruit stands and juicers everywhere. I really want to assemble a press when I return so I can have fresh mango or pineapple juice for breakfast everyday.












My classmates seem to be enjoying this country more than I. I feel trapped, on so many levels. Bangalore is not the boomtown I'd imagined. Rhetoric aside, it truly is a developing nation, but I have a hard time imagining it "the Silicon Valley" it is oft touted as. What's really eating me is that I can't be myself here. My mere presence invites trouble. I have to be back at the dorm by 7 or 8 p.m. if I'm alone and want to preserve my safety. I can't make too much eye contact, not even to dismiss the cat-callers or stares. I have to think about what I'm wearing everyday, not based on style but on how much skin I'm showing or whether my curves are showing.

Living here as a woman, as a white Western woman, is exhausting, infuriating, and dehumanizing.

And yet for all the complaints I can conjure, I still have privileges, as a white Western woman. I may feel restricted, but I can buy whatever I like, take a rickshaw wherever I want and eat whatever I please. And I can always leave.

Heh, but I won't! Not for another three weeks. We've got a 10-hour train ride leaving tonight for Belgaum to attend a Dalit feminist federation meeting (Dalits are the lowest in the caste system; also called "the Untouchables"). This will be my first train ride, ever. I look forward to very little sleep.