I found this picture tagged on Facebook from a friend's visit to the zoo and misread the signage. Removed from context, it inspired in me a variety of fictitious and comedic scenarios...

FEATURE
Incentivized leisure is U.S.'s ticket out

Visitors and employees alike enjoy membership perks offered to combat the erroneous financial conservation spurred by recession. (Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle, WA.)



SEATTLE, Wa.--In our economic crisis, many Americans are being forced to trim their leisure expenditures. But recent fiscal analysis shows a direct correlation between domestic market simulus and propensity of money squandering.

Animal lovers in particular have proven a consistent indicator of overall growth. (Beinder-Woopie, 2008) One incentive for visitors of Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo this holiday season includes a complimentary bird with each zoo membership. The sign, however, warns one to "Please be careful where you step birds on ground" (see above), though it is a bit misleading; Woodland advises its members to be careful where on the ground they step their birds, as one could mistakenly trip into a pothole* (not shown). Thankfully sanitary wipes are kept on-hand should bird-stepping become too messy. Zoo employees encourage bird-stepping further from entrances and exits to ease congestion. Bird salvaging is not recommended.


*It may be noted here that "potholes" in the context of zoos actually refer to strategically placed boobie traps, camouflaged for the very small animals that attempt escape.